Making Holidays Less Stressful, and More Restful!

Every holiday season, about this time of year, we start seeing posts all over social media about how busy it is, and how unprepared we all are. Many times, we post these ourselves, in the moment we are feeling overwhelmed. In fact, I'm already seeing many posts like that, so I thought it would be great to discuss a few things we can do to take those last minute stressors out of our holiday schedules.

First off, let's list some of those last minute stressors we might experience this coming week:

• Cleaning House 
• Preparing Meals
• Finding Recipes 
• Making Shopping Lists
• Shopping
• Decorating 
• Auto Service 
• Hosting Family
• Traveling
• Christmas Shopping
• Black Friday

ENOUGH ALREADY...I'm worn out just thinking about it all.

So, I have a few choices I can make.

1. I can quit thinking about it so that I can "rest" while having a lazy Saturday waiting for my Oklahoma State Cowboys to play tonight.
2. I can make a list of stuff for my wife to do to prepare us for the upcoming week.
3. Or, I can take charge of my own actions by:
• Spending a few minutes planning all that needs to be done
• Actually doing those things that can/should be done
• Scheduling time to do the things I can't do this weekend, or the things I don't want to do

So, what is my decision, you ask?  Well, "resting" today, is not the wisest choice for me, because I will feel bad while resting, because I'm not preparing for the coming week. Therefore it would be a wasted "rest' day because I would end up feeling worse that I didn't do something. As far as ethe second option goes, anybody who's married knows it's not a good idea to make a list for your spouse of all the things that you should be doing, so here's my plan to make Thanksgiving week a little less stressful and little more restful. 

My wife and I have spent a little time this morning, and the last week or so, planning out what we are preparing for the different Thanksgiving celebrations we are part of; Her family's holiday meal; My family's holiday meal; The holiday meal we are hosting at our house for students from the university we both work at. As well as our "To-Do Lists" for each of those celebrations.

• We know what recipes we're using
• We have a few shopping lists
• I've done all the grocery shopping this morning
• We're going to do the rest of the shopping before lunch today
• We know what dishes we're using to prepare the different foods
• This way we don't have to worry about whether we need to buy foil pans, or anything else to prepare our food in
• We know when we are traveling, how we are traveling and what we have to do to prepare the car for travel
• I will take care of getting the car serviced on Monday or Tuesday, as well as filling it up with gas so that we can wake up on Wednesday morning, pack the car and hit the road
• We cleaned the house last week
• We only have to spot clean this coming week
• I pulled/sorted all the Christmas decorations, tested them, and prepared them for installation
• I know which lights go where, that they work, and where the replacement bulbs and fuses are for all of them in case something goes wrong during installation
• I will install those decorations this week if the rain/ice/snow stops, or stays away and if not, I'll install them on Black Friday, reducing my stress by staying out of stores and out of traffic.
• We don't shop on Black Friday, unless it's online, or in the evening after everyone else is worn out and gone home
• We buy very few gifts for people, not because we don't love them, but because we don't want to value people by what we give them, but instead by how we treat them and love them throughout the year...plus, we just don't have the extra money!
• We also buy very few gifts for each other.  If we need something throughout the year, we usually find a way to buy it.  Why wait until Christ's birthday to buy each other gifts?

These are just a few of the things we do in order to make our holidays less stressful and more restful.  How do you prepare for the holidays, and how will you reflect and rest during this time? 

Stillness...

The last three months or so have been a blur for me! Not in a bad way either. It's probably been one of the most enjoyable times in my life. I have been the Small Groups Coordinator at Grace Pointe Church for almost a year now, and about four months ago, I also took over responsibility for our Growth Track series. You can read more about that in a future post.

Although the last four to six weeks have been the most fulfilling time in my life, I've also noticed God speaking to me about balance. You see, I'm a Lion, or some of you may know me as a D through the D.I.S.C. assessment. And although my primary personality flip-flops between Lion and Otter (aka, I in D.I.S.C), I can very quickly become task-oriented, and let my "big dreams" get me to a point of being overwhelmed, because I don't feel like I can sort it all out and get it all done in my timing. I know...right about now you're saying, that's where God comes in, silly boy! I agree...remember a few sentences back I said I noted God speaking to me about balance? Well, He's been speaking to me about a lot more than just balance, of course, however part of balance for me needs to be learning to quiet my mind and my ambitions and my dreams in order just to be.

I need to make sure I'm being and becoming more Christ-like, and not let my "big dreams" become my idol. I've been there, done that, and my excuse usually was that "I'm doing this for God, of course, I'm close to Him...of course, my relationship is where it needs to be, how could it not be if I'm willing to do all of this for Him." You get my drift. I know some of you have been in that same place. We seem to get there unknowingly sometimes, and with very good intentions, but that is not where God wants me, or you, or any of us. He just wants us to seek Him, period! Wholeheartedly, sincerely, seek Him!

Before you get all self-righteous on me, I know there is more to our walk than just seeking Him, but I'm believing more and more that ultimately, my part in the bigger story of God can only be exactly what He wants it to be, if I'm close to Him. I can do great things in His name, and still not know Him, or be known my Him (Mt 7:21-23).

So, let me get back on track, this is about Stillness...Clarity...Tuning In...Quieting the Voices...Calming the Storm...ok, you get it! So, with all the great things that are happening in my life, as fulfilled as I am, becoming closer to Christ than I think I ever have been, I also know that I'm prone to get off track with my "doing". The last few days specifically, I felt like God's been wanting me to learn to be still, both physically and mentally. I've been thinking about ways to learn how to be still, and what the best approach might be for me, when this morning, God supplied a way! When I awoke to my inbox this morning, I had an e-mail from twitter highlighting some of the trending posts from people I follow. One of the people I follow, and have notifications turned on for (meaning, I want to see every update he gives), is Michael Hyatt. This was his post from Twitter:

You and I weren't made for constant, never-ending noise. We need silence and stillness. http://t.co/BXxzXXxcU4

— Michael Hyatt (@MichaelHyatt) October 6, 2013

As soon as I read the post, I knew I had found the way to start pursuing stillness. I knew this was a God-moment. I read his blog post (which happened to be over a year old, although newly posted on Twitter, thankfully). I immediately put into practice what he suggested. I set my phone alarm for 15 minutes, opened the blinds wide so that I could watch the sun rise through the trees across the street, and observed...

for about 20 seconds! Then one of my dogs wanted in my lap so I had to reposition. He then didn't want to jump into my lap, so I spent another 20 seconds trying to convince him to jump, then I spent another 20 seconds adjusting everything, including my second dog, that was already laying at my feet. I then picked up my coffee cup, and proceeded to stare out the window at the sunshine coming through the trees, the squirrels running over the branches, the leaves falling softly to the ground. I quieted my thoughts, stilled my body! Hang on, I wasn't comfy, why was my back hurting, I put a pillow behind me, got comfy again, settled in, quieted my thoughts, stilled my body...resumed practice of stillness.

Ok, enough play-by-play. You get the picture of how difficult it was for me to do this. It seemed like every minute or two, I would have a new thought, and start down that path for what seemed like 20 to 30 seconds before I realized I was doing it. Once I realized it I refocused and resumed my stillness. Although it was a battle, I can honestly tell you that it was getting a little easier by the time the alarm chirped that my time was over. Even this morning, the little quietness and stillness that I did have recharged me and helped me refocus. It's going to be a hard practice to institute, but I see the value in it. There are going to be distractions and interruptions, but I know God is also going to bless that time! What's got you so busy that you can't quiet your mind? What are you doing to change that? What's something that brings you peace, in the midst of a chaotic schedule?

Going back to the beginning!

and In the Beginning..........

I started reading Genesis again this morning because it has been a long while since I've been there. We all need to remember our heritage and Genesis is the beginning of that heritage for every one of us. It's the beginning of all mankind, of all creation. It's the beginning of not only our story, but of God's story, as it includes us!

I specifically set out to read Genesis this morning, through the contextual lense of marriage, and really try to see what Genesis speaks to me about my marriage specifically. I mean, I know that it says a man and woman are to leave their parents and cleave to their wives and all of that "quotable" stuff about marriage, but I have never really let God speak to me about what he was saying about marriage specifically.

The phrase that really jumped out at me this morning was Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" NKJV. I also like the NLT as it says ".... I will make a helper just right for him."

There are two things that really stand out to me today. The first is that no matter which version you use, helper is there joined with comparable or just right depending on the version. The second is that God created woman after giving man the command not to eat from the tree of knowledge. Let's break these down.

Helper, to me, is really two definitions in this situation. It's someone that makes things easier because they have different talents, or strengths than we do, but a helper is also someone that improves our situation. So God, in his wisdom and glory, creates for us (men, because I am a man, hopefully that clarity was not required), someone that will improve our situation and will make things easier for us because we can share our journey with them, our loads, our burdens. But that he created them comparable to us (men). Comparable means "of equal quality". It doesn't mean exactly alike, however.

This is something that I often forget with Rebecca...that she is designed comparably to me...and to be my helper. I feel like because I'm designed with this innate sense of protection built into me, that it means protect her from the things I feel she may be ill-equipped to handle. That's just me playing God though, and not trusting that His creation will be able to do what He designed her to do...to help! I do this too often.

There is a small scene in the original Rocky movie where Paulie is questioning Rocky's intentions with his sister, Adrian, and asks what the attraction is. Rocky replies by saying that she fills gaps. When Paulie asks Rocky what he means by 'gaps', Rocky basically summarizes this part of Genesis in one short little sentence, "I dunno, she's got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps.". Isn't that what marriage is truly about? Sharing life's burdens and joys and filling each other's gaps? I tend not to see it that way because of my innate desire to protect my wife, but by doing so, I am trying to become her God, not her husband, and God doesn't like it when I try to take His place.

Now to the part about God telling Adam not to eat from the tree of knowledge. He does this specifically, and I think, intentionally, in the two verses right before He creates woman. I think God is setting us men up for our first true test of leadership in the household. When the serpent speaks to Eve, she knows about the tree and what God had said about it so it's clear that Adam had told her what God had said. Of course, we know that she is deceived by the serpent and eats of the tree and then passes it to her husband. However, a little gets lost in this passage if you don't really pay attention to the end of verse 6 that reads, '...Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too."

So you see, Adam was with her this whole time while she was speaking to the serpent. I believe this is man's first test of Godly leadership in the home, and we fail miserably. Not only does Adam not say anything to Eve to challenge her way of thinking, but he does nothing to combat what the serpent has said. This was man's first loss in spiritual warfare. I also think it's representative of man's greatest weakness...women! Our first mistake was not taking up the leadership that God put in place and getting us out of the situation of listening to the enemy, but our second mistake was even worse, not standing up for what we believed and allowing the woman to control our actions. I am not blaming the woman, because she was deceived, I am blaming the man because he let her approach the serpent in a complacent manner in the first place.


I believe that when Adam heard directly from God not to eat from the tree of knowledge that it had a deep impact on our soul and in our spirits. It had to have. I also believe that Adam failed to pass that knowledge on to Eve in a manner reflective of how God gave it to us. I don't believe that Adam really impressioned Eve with that news the same way that God impressioned Adam with that news. Therefore, she may have not truly understood the ramifications of her decision. We should never engage the enemy in a complacent, conversational manner. There is only one way to approach the enemy and that is with the blood of Jesus and the authority of God over Satan. I understand that the blood of Jesus is not something that Adam and Eve could deal with, but they dwelt in the garden with God.

I see that from the start of mankind, women have held a place of prominence, like an idol, in the lives of men, and that our relationship has been so distorted and perverted by the enemy, that we have forgotten that we are to be the spiritual leaders in our household. We are to be the warriors of protection against the enemy. So our innate sense of protection that is built in should not be used to protect our wives from something they were designed by Him to do. Our protection is to come in the form of spiritual warfare and guidance.

So men, take up your charge from God, and lead by example, not just words. Lead with your prayers, specifically those done in private. Lead by serving, not being served. Lead by being warriors for Christ, both for ourselves, and for those that Christ has trusted to our leadership, our families.

Living Life In The Zone by Rote/Pettigrew

I recently had the pleasure of reading through Living Life In The Zone by Kyle Rote Jr., and Dr. Joe Pettigrew. Living Life In The Zone bills itself as "A 40 -Day Spiritual Game Plan for Men".  It's basically a 40-day devotional for men on how to live life in God's zone for your life. 

Before I received the book, I wasn't sure what I would think about it because I knew that it was really sports focused, although I was very surprised with the content, the moving stories, the thought-inducing questions and overall, the takeway.  This book really is about making you process through some of the basic tenets of what you believe and how you operate and trying to align those with God's plan for your life, instead of trying to create your own "zone" to play in.  

Each day's devotion is divided into 7 parts.  As you can imagine, the "Thought of the Day" is sort of the synopsis, or big thought for the day.  "Coach's Corner" helps us to discover the relevance of God's word in our life while "Game Plan" talks to us about what God's word says about the particular topic of the day.  After diving into God's word, there is the "Playmakers" section which are just stories of real men in the real world (generally well-known athletes, but not always).  These are inspirational stories about their lives and careers that most people don't know, or have not heard.  They really are moving stories that setup the next two sections.

"Time Out" asks questions for you to reflect on.  I would suggest you have a notebook that you can keep handy, specifically for this devotional, and that you use it every day when you go through your devotion.  I would say most devotions are about 10 to 20 minutes depending on how much effort you put into them. 

The next section is "Today's Assignment", which challenges you to set a goal and to accomplish certain things from setting a quiet time with God every day to doing something for your spouse.  

The part I really loved the most though was the final section "Home-Field Advantage".  It simply asks you to write down your praises and concern that you would like to bring before God.  I know that shouldn't be a huge issue, but in our busy, overcrowded days, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that we simply need to recognize our needs and take them to God, but also to praise Him for all His provision. 

All in all, this book makes really great reading and in a devotional format, that doesn't even cause you to think twice about answering the questions and writing your prayer's and praises.  I highly recommend this book, and I believe that women could get just as much out of it as men do, although a few questions may be gender specific, there are not many. 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Help a Friend Win!

Hey all,


I was just wanting to ask for your help so that a friend could win a scholarship, click on the Vote link on the bottom left of the picture for me. It doesn't any information from you or anything like that, it just simply requires you to push the button.


Thanks,


Robert

You To The Animal Rescue! Brickfish